Today in Tabs: Is This Tabs That I'm Feeling

I was on vacation yesterday, so Tabs today is honestly kind of a Since Last Friday in Tabs...

It's no secret that I've had my differences with the Buzzfeed politics section, but McKay Coppins's delightful profile slash evisceration of Donald Trump buys them at least two months of me not calling for Benny Johnson to be assigned to report first-hand on political conditions in the outer reaches of the solar system. "I, of course, am part of the problem," Coppins says of his own contribution to Trump-lit, but on the contrary, this is the profile that should make it untenable for anyone to treat Trump as anything but a joke. Next time you see a report on Trump that treats him like an actual candidate for anything (including "real human person") send its author a link to this with the commentary: "??????!!!!"Of course Trump's people complained, via The Wrap. Coppins clearly doesn't care, nor should anyone, anywhere, ever care what Donald Trump thinks about anything.

People continue having opinions about Comcast's prospective purchase of Time-Warner. Kevin Roose says it shouldn't happen with actual numbers, making him an instant frontrunner for the "opinion that might not be nonsense" prize. Trailing in that field as usual is Matt Yglesias, who kind of responds to Matt Klein's unconvincing defense of monopolies by saying "I normally have an opinion about everything, but I think this basic problem—what do you do with utilities policy?—is just really really hard." Yglesias is the Governor Ritchie of punditry. "Monopolies... boy, I don't know."

Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik is threatening a hunger strike if he isn't provided with a more recent model Playstation. Be a shame if that guy starved himself to death in prison. Yup. Real shame.

Kickstarter was hacked, so change those passwords again. Lol j/k everything you own will eventually be hacked, it's probably not worth bothering. Just cultivate a zen detachment from all your possessions and learn to live without anything.

We're probably stuck with Google+ forever. Dropbox is the bro cloud. Internet trollsare bad people, according to Science. Marketplacedoes a whole report on Netflix's amazing, detailed viewer information without ever mentioning that it's all secret. Netflix is the most uncritically praised company going right now. It's incredible what they are allowed to just assert. Be skeptical.

Are we still fretting about Millennials? Well, if it's a year that ends in a number, then of course we are! Millennials are eternal interns, worries the NYT. Doree Shafrir points out that if you have had four internships in a row, it's time for someone to tell you no. I'm not a particularly nice person, so allow me: If you're considering an internship, and you're older than 21, stop it. Get a job. Stop following your dreams. Your dreams are garbage and the world doesn't care about them.

Good Things:Cat Ferguson explores biotech's dark side. Kevin Roosecrashed a secret society for the one percent, and they're possibly even worse than you thought (from his new book, which is out today!). Back to the Futurepower laces coming next year? Generative Bill Murray art. Fahrenheit 451 book concept. Avante-garde Tumblr theme.

Today's Song: Beck's new album is streaming at NPR today.

Today's Last Word for Millennials: Look if you absolutely must follow your dumb useless dreams, at least take this freelancing course. It's probably worth it.

~Tabs... boy, I don't know.~

It sure is Tuesday isn't it? Today in Tabs is brought to you every weekday (more or less) by Newsweek.com and email. My furnace is broken so I have to stlp thulpjng nw bcs fgrs frzgsjsks