CES is paying off already! Michael Bay, pitching a new Samsung TV, screwed up his lines, got the teleprompter operator lost, and found himself unable to improvise a few words about his own job or the product he was there to pitch. Like, "I make terrible movies." Or "No one on earth needs this ridiculous TV." Yeah I guess I see the problem. On his blog, Bay said "I guess live shows aren't my thing." I bet he cashed the check though. Maybe cashing checks is his "thing."
Speaking of "things": what is going on in this smart watch ad?
The New York Times launched its big redesign. I don't know, it still looks like this to me.
I promised some good stuff from Pacific Standard, and good stuff there is. First Casey Cep explains why internet outrage is mostly exhausting and pointless with which I agree but also request you continue it anyway because it's pretty much my whole "thing" here at Tabs. And also Amanda Hess on how women are persistently and systematically victimized for daring to exist on the internet and law enforcement largely does nothing about it. Required reading.
Sandbox.is possibly the worst internet "thing" ever made. I feel you, Millennials, but it's stuff like this that make everyone hate you so much. You need to police your own community.
Speaking of awful Millennials, I gave Snapchat Chief Execrable Officer Evan Spiegel too much credit yesterday. When he said the cute story of him sassing Zuck that Forbes used as the lede for its profile was "a good story but that's not what happened," what he meant was "I lied to Forbes to look cool and now I'm embarrassed about it." Give the man credit: he managed to make himself look like a jerk in two completely opposite ways at the same time here. Farhad calls for a Snapchat boycott which is kind of an overreaction but his analysis of Spiegel's floundering is spot-on.
Forbes also launched a social network yesterday to allow "Forbes readers to save and share visual content with other readers and discover content from Forbes magazine and Forbes.com..." No word on why they think anyone would ever want to do that.
Mediate's managing editor is not named Jon Nicosia but is in fact a felon named Zachary Hildreth. So... that's odd.
Turns out everything that would have been made in China in real life is also made in China in video games.
Aspirational Tabs: People I trust keep recommending this long essay about Google Glass from a non-techie perspective but I haven't found the time to read it yet.
People Are Awful: Idiots throw boiling water on themselves. Tiger Mom also racist. Cheerlebrity scandal. Collection of old Krauthammer columns apparently selling briskly, slaking widespread thirst for bad thinking expressed in bad writing. Everything about Eliot Spitzer is gross even if this particular story isn't true. Which headline is real? I don't even want to know.
None of the Following Are Arbitrary Lists of Words: Who is stealing the ferrets of Stonehenge? Miley Cyrus's awesome pot leaf transition/animation jQuery plugin. Mountain Dew flavored corn chips.
Best URL From Law & Order: bootyboys.bz
Today's Song: Museum, "The Law" (if you're the one who sent me this via last.fm: thanks, I did like it!)
~The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of tabs.~
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