Today in Tabs: These Tabs Are Cursed

Greetings from the burning sage bush I live in now, because it is Friday the 13th, a full (super?)moon, and Mercury’s in retrograde. On curse days, Maine enters its own pocket universe where lobsters can talk, minor league baseball matters, and anime is real, so Rusty’s gone, and it is up to me to shepherd you through this terrible day with tabs.

Your tabber irl

Today’s first victim is the Cliff House which, as you may have heard, is on fire. Because of Twitter? I don’t burn the houses, I just report the tabs, and today’s lead tab is everybody is watching a house burn down on the internet because this is the world we live in now!

Anything Can Be a Start-Up: Using a 3D printer to make anything you want into make-up is honestly quite an idea and her points about foundation choices for WOC are absolutely valid, but I don’t know if I’d say it’s "literally a revolution,"Grace. We hoped Vessyl was a hoax, but this marketing video would imply otherwise, or does it? It’s either not a hoax or the best hoax. The next time you have a dream, write down an object from that dream and place that piece of paper under your pillow. In two days, you will complete a Series A Round of venture funding.

Elsewhere in tech, Hacker News got wind of a mathematical formula to select a woman to marry and their insights are exactly what you would expect. Starbucksannounced its plans to roll out "wireless charging stations" nationwide, except they don’t work (also you have to buy a thing to use with them). Well, they don’t work for charging your phone. They do justify Starbucks removing all of their power outlets, so I’m sure they work just fine from Starbucks’ perspective. On the (completely unrelated) positive side of things, the incredibly talented animator of my favorite Adventure Time episode David O’Reilly is releasing a video game later this month.

"Deconstructing the Illusion" is the title of this NYTimes restaurant review, the illusion apparently being that there was a large wall preventing Queens and Brooklyn from merging into Quooklyn, but it’s gone now. Burned, probably.

Etc:90-year-old man thrown from plane, lands on face. Children heroes. Headline accurate. Wealthy New Englanders given mad cow disease. Bus ride long. Tickets available. Police auction upcoming.

It’s Father’s Day this weekend, so #followadad.

Today’s Song:ADVANCED CLIMATE RESEARCH & ANALYSIS MUSIC

~By the power of fire
By the power of earth
By the power of air
By the power of water
By the life in the blood
Be thou tabs stopped
Let the evil return to whence it cometh
Let thy words be unto thee
As thou would have them be to me
I banish you.~

Today in CURSETABS was brought to you by Jessie Guy-Ryan but usually by Rusty through the power of Newsweek and email.